Standardized Thinking
Preparing for Gen AA
Scott Swigart, The Only Futurist From the Future
What comes after Generation Z? According to Excel, it’s Generation AA. In this session, you will learn everything you need to know about the most sedentary hyper-mobile generation yet to be born. How will you craft your eight-legged spider human avatar to best market to them in (what we refer to today as) cyberspace? Will it be better to defeat them in online combat, or let them win, to build rapport? Join our session so your buyer persona research won’t be left out in the cold in RL (real life), far away from where everything important happens.
I’M A CELEBRITY
Kim Kardashian, Reality TV Personality
**All sessions, regardless of the title, will focus exclusively on growth hacking.
What Watching Netflix in Bulgaria Can Teach You About Marketing to Millennials
Jacob Dittmer, Research Guru + Head of Ideation at Corporate Company
How Our Metrics Showed Us Metrics Don’t Matter
Tyler Honsinger, Content Rockstar at Unicorn Startup
Why I Hired Real Twins to Manage My Digital Twin Initiatives
Colleen Clancy, VP of Research / Synchronicity at Tech Enterprise
Socialism in Growth Hacking
Philippe Boutros, Chief Cultivating Collaborative Purist at Relevant Company
LeadGen Strategies: Forming Words In The Presence of Other People
Isa Gautschi, Chief Digital Marketing Strategist, Intimidatingly Named Co.
A Series of Disconnected Inspirational Phrases
Jodi Swigart, Director of Platitude Curation at Brand Name
Feudalism & Other Productivity Hacks
Alex Gamboa Grand, Head Recruiter for Recruitment Corp
Literally Go Viral: What Marketing Can Learn From Infectious Diseases
John Najarian, Editor of Content Epidemiology
The Power of Using Dank Memes to Build a Social Media Marketing Empire
Blaze Schweickart, Meme Culture/Media Strategist at Hip Collective
What the Romans and Babylonians Can Teach Us About Podcasting
Sean Campbell, Marketing Evangelist & Host of PodcastPodcast
The Art of Passive Avoidance: Headphones
Hercules Randolph IV, Director of Internal Communications at Messaging Platform
Blackmail For Backlinks Best Practices
Kim Campbell, Director of Marketing at Strategic Strategies
You don’t want to miss the expo!
And you can’t…
We have literally thousands of vendors. Before each session, you’ll have to dodge sales pitches along the gauntlet to the conference talks. It’s great cardio. (#VendorFit!)
For those of you into SaaS impulse buys, there are plenty of incentives just for you! To name a few:
- A FitBit.
- A monocle.
- A tiny house built entirely of recycled Crocs.
- A pen (a vintage writing implement).
*Chances are approximately one in a million bitcoins for each of these amazing prizes.
SLICE YOURSELF
On the cutting edge of content marketing
Rub shoulders with Thought Leaders You’ve Never Heard of (TLYNHO), hair bands, the infant showrunner of an HBO series popular with millennials, and the incredibly chic marketers of the #ConCon #Community!
Don’t forget to get an Instagram pic with everyone! A professional photographer will be available to hold your phone so you can optimize your selfie.
Convince Your Boss
Innovate. DisRupt. #Hashtag.
Just continue to repeat these words until your
boss falls into a trance and agrees to let you go.
#ConCon is optimized for Instagram!
Style your moustache and don your architectural capelets and ironic ascots! At #ConCon, everyone dresses to impress.
With good reason! Audience members are expected to livestream themselves listening to each talk, and each presenter will be contractually obligated to take a minimum of 40 selfies with the crowd during each speech.
I’M WITH THE BAND.
Poison will be there. Why? We’re not sure.
Celebrate #Diversity!
Join male colleagues for an hour of cigars, whisky,
and solving the tech gender gap.
Don’t Forget To Download
The #ConCon App!
It’s basically just a super slow PDF with links, but “app” sounds trendier.
PERKS
There will be a free yoga class at 4 a.m.
Food will not be regional.
#ConCon attendees will be served a complimentary lunch between 11:55 a.m. and noon.
We make every effort to pair things that should not go together together. There will definitely be tangerine slices in your sandwich. We managed to put meat in the dessert.
Also, we here at #ConCon care deeply about the environment. So, we have ensured that all food will be enclosed in three layers of plastic to empower you to make frequent decisions to recycle. You’ll be 100% likely to bump into someone while trying to unwrap your lunch. Bonus #Networking!
The IV drip coffee stations will be available between sessions. We do not offer water except in $9 bottles in the lobby.
#ConCon has a signature cocktail! A refreshing mix of rum, vodka, tequila, and Tang, garnished with kiwi! Attendees will be given one drink coupon to be used at an undisclosed time and location.
Serf /Commoner
You will be allowed to wait outside the building during sessions.
Catch aspirational glimpses of VIPs that will inspire your personal growth. (No eye contact is permitted though.)
Get ignored by vendors at the expo.
Develop a lurking dissatisfaction with capitalism.
Suddenly get an urge to quit your job and devote yourself to your novel.
All-Access Pass For UIPs*
You can come to all the keynotes and sessions. You can even sit down! (If there is a chair. No guarantees.)
Get all the stock art images used in PowerPoint presentations. (Not the slides though.)
Meet new networking contacts whose names you can’t quite remember.
Experience several epic hangovers.
*UIPs= unimportant people.
VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE
Get everything in the All-Access Pass For UIPs plus exclusive reserved seating so you don’t actually have to interact with anyone not in the 1%.
Tickets to the VIP-only after party that features UIPs looking in longingly.
A quartet of trumpets will follow you around and announce you when you enter a room or speak.
Just Kidding
Happy conference season! Love and hashtags, The Cascade Insights Team
P.S. With our B2B market research, you can make sure your
audience is laughing with, not at your marketing. Seriously, it’s what we do.
Credits
Copywriting: Isabel Gautschi | Editing: Sean Campbell | Web Design: Kistner Group | Photos of Cascade Insights Team: Ryan Flood
Special thanks to Philippe Boutros, Bridget Burley, Colleen Clancy, Jacob Dittmer, John Najarian, Hercules Randolph IV, Blaze Schweickart, and Scott Swigart for contributing speaker sessions and content ideas.